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Dating Tips

Why You Should be Thankful When They Ghost You…

Ever liked someone and they suddenly vanished out of your life without warning? You two talk pretty much every day, have gone on plenty of dates, and become close. This person really has the potential to be your next boo thing; and then all of a sudden POOF! They’re gone, suddenly evaporate into thin air like a ghost, with no rhyme or reason. I call this ghosting or being ghosted, and it can happen to any of us – no one is safe. As with many of the things that can go wrong when it comes to dating, being ghosted is another risk to add to the list. And although the idea of it happening to you may seem mortifying, the person that’s ghosted you may have done you a favor.

Now y’all know I love the show Insecure, and this past week’s episode had me in my feelings! Mainly because the show’s main character, Issa, went through this exact scenario. As I was watching it, I couldn’t help but remember how frustrated I was, searching for answers and reasons why a person I really liked just disappeared. Now, I didn’t take such drastic measures as Issa, (like showing up to his house and looking through his things), but I have suffered through the sudden unanswered calls, and texts. Believe me, most of us have been there. I felt compelled to write this post and help a fellow sis or bro in need. But I beg you, PLEASE DON’T PULL AN ISSA! Although I was thoroughly entertained by her determination to get answers straight from the source, she was doing a bit too much.

I definitely don’t think anything is wrong with genuinely being concerned with another person’s wellbeing, especially someone you’ve been dating. But if you clearly see that they’re ok and they still aren’t making an attempt to see you, let alone call or text you back, it’s time that you face the reality of the situation and move on.

Unfortunately, you can’t control another person’s actions. But you can control how you react! I know that being ghosted can be a huge blow to the ego. But try to find peace of mind knowing that some things just don’t work out, and sometimes, that may be for reasons that are out of your control or have absolutely nothing to do with you. Keep your cool and find the silver lining, they probably saved you a bunch of headaches and future stress. If that’s not enough and you still want answers or are just plain mad, here are some things to consider…

  1. They’re just not into you anymore – And they may be too chicken shit to tell you.
  2. Their communication skills need improvement – Bad communication in any relationship leads to unnecessary drama and turmoil. Be thankful that you’ve dodged a bullet.
  3. They’re into games – Do you really want to go down that road?

Ok, don’t kill the messenger guys! But I really want to help you. There’s no sense in wasting time on someone that doesn’t want to make you a factor in their life. You’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs to meet the one… and this one just isn’t it! So do yourself a favor – chuck up the deuces and move on.

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4 Comments

  • Reply
    Kate
    September 27, 2018 at 3:40 pm

    Loved reading this! I swear it’s like reading my entire dating life in a post. What I loved most was the “there just not that into you part” lol, sometimes that’s a hard pill for my pride to swallow. Great post girl!

  • Reply
    Toni
    September 27, 2018 at 3:54 pm

    Good read! I’m a stickler for “Cotrolling Your Crazy”. You’re so right! It’s a blessing when the guy you THOUGHT was a good catch, goes missing. He can stay as a ghost for all I’m concerned!

  • Reply
    Courtney Consuella
    September 27, 2018 at 4:01 pm

    I agree with you 100% that you should be thankful when someone “ghosts” you. To be frank, I’m too damn grown to be playing with Ghost and realized Casper was fake a long time ago. If people are in the head space where they just disappear without reason, then you don’t need them in your life anyway. On to the next!

  • Reply
    Tina
    September 27, 2018 at 4:20 pm

    Amen to this; they’re just making room for the right person to enter your life!

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