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Relationships

What to do When He Levels Up Without You…

Have you ever been with a guy that just never seemed capable of getting their shit together while you were dating? If you have, you know how frustrating it can be to feel let down by his inability to step up to the plate and handle his business. Maybe he procrastinates a little too much, doesn’t take his future as seriously as he should, or is just flat-out lazy. The day comes when you finally dump him, and it seems like the huge weight of his poor decisions has been lifted off of your shoulders. Good riddance…right? Fast forward to the future and your ex looks hauntingly good and doing even better. In fact, he’s somehow morphed into the man you’ve always wanted – but he’s now that man with another woman.

I personally think that this is every woman’s worst nightmare. Mainly because it’s hard not to be crippled by regrets and thoughts of “What if?” What if you were a little more patient? What if you tried a little harder? Right? When you’re in love with someone, it’s natural to want what’s best for them. (Read “Are You Dating the Person, Promise, or Penis? Here…)But at some point, you have to realize that you can’t force anyone to do or be anything until they’re ready to do so. Timing, it’s all about timing boo. Maybe he was destined to be the exact man he has become, just not with you.

 

 

So, before you go and find the new girl’s social media profiles and pick apart everything you think you know about your ex and the lady in his life. Or make it your business to remind everyone that he wasn’t shit while you two were together…DON’T! Because everything happens for a reason and you’re only making yourself look crazy. Instead, try to find comfort in knowing that the time you two shared wasn’t for nothing. Accept that both of you have grown as a result of the romance you once had. Cause believe me; ain’t nothing cute about being petty and upset!

 

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6 Comments

  • Reply
    Astin
    August 16, 2018 at 12:14 pm

    Wow….! LOL. Not sure whether to laugh or just get re-angry again! Yes, 5 years later, I wanna get MAD, AGAIN! LOL. 🙂 THIS RIGHT Here – WOW… This hit home for me. LOL. Simple things I did for HIM, helped HIM with the next chick. Ha. Wow. Thanks for this one, Monique!

  • Reply
    LeaveInspired, By Tysheira
    August 16, 2018 at 2:33 pm

    Thank you for writing about this! This happened to me and I was filled with so much anger. I felt like I built him up to
    be what I needed for someone else. I had to come to peace with exactly what you wrote about. Keep writing, someone is gonna need your voice 💕

  • Reply
    Jackline Kantanka
    August 16, 2018 at 3:00 pm

    Sometimes two people are not meant to be. It’s no ones fault. It just is. Great article.

    http://www.sincerelymissj.com

  • Reply
    Courtney
    August 16, 2018 at 8:08 pm

    Girl this ain’t nothing but the truth. Fortunately, I haven’t had that happen, but in the event that it does. I promise to try not to be upset and petty 😂

  • Reply
    LaToya
    August 17, 2018 at 1:42 am

    This happened to my friend and it bothered her so badly. You live and learn and move on. Thank you for sharing! 🤗

  • Reply
    Megan @ Pixieskies
    August 17, 2018 at 4:34 pm

    This is definitely something I need to remind myself of more often. Pettiness ain’t pretty and such

    -pixieskiesblog.wordpress.com xo

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