They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. That when you have time to miss someone, you’re able to better appreciate all the things you love about them. But what happens if distance is the main factor in your relationship? Can you handle it? Is the constant uncertainty and amplified requirement for commitment too much to bear? Can long distance relationships truly work? Of course, they can! In fact, long distance relationships (LDRs) are more common than you think.
Long Distance Relationships
Studies show that as of 2018, approximately 14 million Americans were in LDRs. 75 percent of engaged couples have had a long-distance phase at some point in their relationships. Just because you’re in a LDR doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed to fail. Despite what you may think, LDRs don’t end any faster than non-LDRs. It seems that increased chance of cheating is another fear shared amongst LDR non-believers. I mean, if you can’t see your partner every day – the need to cheat is natural right? WRONG! If a person is going to cheat, they’re going to cheat, it really has nothing to do with distance. Cheating really depends on the quality of the relationship and the people involved, nothing more nothing less.
Honestly, I believe that long distance relationships get a bad rep. Yes, they may not work for everyone and they come with certain challenges, but what relationship doesn’t? Ok, you may not be able to see your lover every day. You may be forced to spend many nights alone rather than with your partner but it’s not the worst thing in the world. My motto is, if you want something bad enough, you’ll find ways to overcome those challenges and make it work. What’s important is making sure that there’s trust, good communication, respect and commitment from both sides (same goes for a non-LDR). I’m going to sound like a broken record here but if you’ve been reading my posts for a while, you know my infamous line “it is what you make it.” Well the same applies here!
I’m speaking from experience here; even my relationship started out as an LDR. Yes, we live together now, but when we first started dating, I lived in Washington D.C. and he lived in Philadelphia. Between life and our work schedules, sometimes it would be over a month before we could even see each other, but I never once felt any less connected and committed to our relationship. We just made it work! And here we are today – four years later and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
So, if you’re apprehensive about getting serious with someone just because they don’t share your zip code… give it a little more thought! You never know, you may be missing out on the love of your life (Y’all know I’m a hopeless romantic). Seriously, many of the fears you have can also happen in non-LDR. So, what’s the harm in trying something new? Just remember these tips for your LDR…
Technology is your friend
Phones, laptops, etc. there are so many ways to stay connected to your partner no matter how far apart you are.
Communication is key
In order for this to work, you two have to be able to communicate. No, it doesn’t have to be perfect but you both deserve to be heard and understood. Be upfront about your feelings, your concerns, and your expectations.
If there’s no trust…
If you have no trust, you have nothing, in fact, that sounds like a toxic relationship to me. I mean… duh!
Know that it won’t be forever
Although it may seem like forever, the distance will be temporary. As you guys grow in love and become more serious you’ll naturally want to be closer and you two will find a way to make it happen.
Need more tips for your LDR? Check out these sites: