Oh fuckboys… a term that has been thrown around quite a bit over the last few years. They’re the self-absorbed, womanizing manipulators that make toying with your feelings a sport. I think it’s safe to say that they’re the least desirable when it comes to dating prospects. We love to hate them, yet so many of us have fallen victim to their ways. Why is that?
What is a Fuckboy?
A fuckboy is a manipulative guy that’s all about himself but they will do or say whatever to have you at their fingertips. The goal here is to get you to trust them, to hang on their every word through false promises and phony actions so that they can use you (mainly sexually but some have financial intentions too) in ways that are solely for their benefit. They’ll do things like avoid giving you straight answers regarding your relationship status, ghost you for days or weeks without explanation, always be too busy for dates, are slow to initiate dates or communication, but are quick to as for sex. Hmm…
The Rise of Fuckboys
In 2019, it seems like fuckboys are taking over. I mean what’s wrong with being upfront, honest, or committed nowadays? Beats me. But I won’t sit here and say that fuckboy evolution is solely their fault. Nah sis, these men are running rampant out here because we’ve allowed them to. Fuckboy behavior has been normalized and we’ve collectively accepted it as a society. Hard pill to swallow… I know.
Rappers brag about it and women are more than eager to be their next conquest it seems. But what’s fun about having your emotions toyed with and to be at someone’s disposal? Know your worth, that’s all I’m saying. There’s no money, cars (According to the Fuckboy President – rapper, Future – being able to ride in the passenger seat in his nice car excuses his fuckboy ways), fame, or anything that is worth sacrificing your sanity or self-worth for. PERIODT!
Why are We Drawn to the Fuckboy?
So, what is it about a man’s ability to make us orgasm, that makes us so damn gullible? (Read “Are You Dating the Person, Promise or Penis”). A lot of us know better, but we refuse to do better. Honestly, how many women do you know that will overlook the fact that the man she’s dealing with has no interest in being committed to her, stick around?
Research says that it’s this little thing called oxytocin that releases once we’ve experienced being sexually intimate or cuddling, for example. It’s like a smoke signal that’s immediately sent out and fuckboys have an A1 radar they use to pick up on it. While they’re able to keep their emotions closed off and just focus on the sexual relationship, we slowly become putty in their hands. Over time, some men have become masters at stringing you along by making you think they’re giving you everything you want. But the truth is, they’re nothing you need.
Ladies You’re Not Off the Hook Either…
That’s right. I know for a fact that women have exhibited some fuckboy-ish ways of their own, especially with this recent Hot Girl versus City/Fuck Boy craze. Just like these guys, you need to do better girl! There’s nothing cool about using people for your own selfish gain. It’s immature and can potentially be dangerous. Just like fuckboys need to be honest and upfront about their intentions from the beginning, so do you! When you misrepresent what you’re really want for personal gain, you’re taking away the person you’re dealing with choice in the situation, which is not fair!
Of course, not all guys are bad. There are still some great men out there. It just seems that now you have to sort through a lot of bullshit to meet them. I get it, it’s hard trying to identify them and run for cover. Some are skilled at seeming like they’re good guys but really just want to fuck your life up! All I can say is be careful and be smart, here are some helpful tips:
- Pay attention – Many of us are oblivious to the fact that we’re dealing with a fuckboy because we’re so caught up in how much we like them. Feelings aside, pay attention to their actions. Most times that’ll tell you all that you need to know.
- Treat them at face value – Believe none of what they say and all of what they do.
- Be upfront about what you want – Too many women dumb down their expectations because we’re scared of scaring men off. No one is going to cap for you harder than you do for yourself. Speaking up about your expectations sets boundaries and may just serve as a shield to the fuckboys!
- If you know you’re easily dickmatized …remove sex from the equation and see how he acts.