Personal Relationships

The Blame Game

Have you ever looked at your partner and thought that all that has gone wrong in your relationship is their fault? Like you two would have more sex if they were more affectionate. Your communication would be better if they’d stop shutting down. This vicious cycle, my friends,  is known as “the blame game.” It’s like a ping-pong match between two people that involves shifting responsibility for everything that’s gone wrong between them. The back and forth can make your head spin if you’re not careful.

Blaming Hurts Relationships

In relationships, it’s easy to blame the other person for everything that has gone wrong. You know what’s hard, accepting your own fault and the part that you have played in it. One of the most challenging things about being in a relationship is accepting the hard realization that you’re not perfect. I won’t lie, that’s definitely been a problem of mine, but I’m working on it! 

Do you know what constant blaming leads to? Resentment. When you’re resentful, any and everything your partner does will annoy you. Those feelings will fester and continue to grow until you feel like you’re going to explode. Resentment can suck your relationship dry of everything you loved about it to begin with. Think about it, when you’re holding on to anger, the intimacy may be affected, respect can be lost, and the fun quickly dissipates. Being stuck on who did what and constantly going back and forth about it is counterproductive! 

How and Why You Should Stop

There’s no denying that you know your partner, hell, your relationship better than I ever could. So please don’t take offense to my post. I’m only speaking from experience and trying to help a sis or brother out! Either way you want to look at it, one fact remains – YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. So please take into consideration that your inability to be held accountable and your propensity to pace blame might be sabotaging that chance. It’s important to understand that the more you continue to hold on to blame, the more you halt your healing as a person and as a couple. 

If you’re sick of playing the game of blame and really want to move forward in your relationship… here are some tips to consider! 

  1. Be Accountable – Accept responsibility for YOUR ACTIONS. 
  2. Communicate – If you feel that your partner has messed up, or offended you… tell them. Explain your feelings and try to resolve it even if you feel like shutting down. 
  3. Avoid Being Defensive –  You have to allow yourself to be open to your partner’s feelings as well. Just as quickly as you’re able to dish it, you have to be willing and able to take it. How else will you be able to find a common ground and move forward?

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them in the comments! 



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  • Reply
    February 21, 2019 at 2:41 pm

    This is such a good read. We have to learn how to check ourselves before we point the finger!

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      February 21, 2019 at 6:58 pm

      Thank you so much Tina! It’s so hard to do at times but it’s so necessary! Especially if you want your relationship to work. Thanks for stopping by xoxo

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