Do you ever feel that people take advantage of you for their emotional gain? Have you ever found yourself constantly taking on other people’s problems and making them your own? Do the people in your life make you feel guilty for standing up for yourself when they do you wrong? If you answered “Yes.” to any of these questions, you may be lacking healthy boundaries in your relationships. When it comes to relationships and dealings with other people, sometimes it can be draining. Sometimes, people take your kindness for weakness and take advantage of that leaving you feeling unhappy and mistreated. Regardless of what type of relationship it is, it’s important to have some boundaries. Here’s how to set healthy boundaries in your relationships.
A few weeks ago, I posed a question on my Facebook about women that say they don’t get along with other women. Then like fate, my sister from another mister (in my mind at least) Issa Rae tweeted something along the lines of – “I feel sorry or women who don’t have female friends.” Quite honestly, I couldn’t agree more. There’s something about having a connection with other women that can’t be replaced by relationships with men. And if you ask me – in this cold ass world, a woman needs her girlfriend(s)!
I think we all know when it comes to being someone’s friend, there are some basic principles and duties we must perform. For starters, a friend is someone that is loyal, someone that you can confide in and entrust with all your dirty secrets. A friend is someone you can count on to listen to you when you complain or simply get things off your chest. They are there for you through the good, bad, and hella ugly. Of course the dynamics of all of friendships may differ a bit, but the overall consensus is – friends support each other.
But what if you have a friend that’s always making bad decisions? You know – the one that always goes back to the guy she has no business with, the one that constantly blows her money partying but needs to borrow money to make rent, or maybe they are not as motivated about their life as they should be? Naturally, you want to help them out right? After all, that’s what friends do. But at what point does being a supportive friend turn into being their enabler? Do you ever feel the need to intervene and check them?
Ladies, ladies, ladies – I have a serious bone to pick with some of you! (Keyword being SOME). I think I’m pretty justified in saying that a lot comes with being a woman; we must wear many hats and play many roles while dealing with cramps, PMS and other things. I commend you all because honestly you’ve been out here making major moves and simply slaying while doing it. From the mothers, to the students, entrepreneurs, the go-getters and GOAL diggers – I see you girls!
I can honestly say I’ve been most inspired by women making boss moves and I thank you all for that. As I briefly explained in my Dating Ms. Independent post, we can have it all (love, career, etc.)! Unfortunately, it seems that no matter how far we’ve come, haters are going to hate. I guess that comes with the territory right? Recent events (the election amongst other things) have shown that women still have a ways to go as far as women’s rights and getting some damn respect is concerned. With that being said, I can’t help but be baffled at the number of women that so eagerly and willfully bash other women, especially when it’s to appeal to men! I mean really, what’s up with that sis?