Ever liked someone and they suddenly vanished out of your life without warning? You two talk pretty much every day, have gone on plenty of dates, and become close. This person really has the potential to be your next boo thing; and then all of a sudden POOF! They’re gone, suddenly evaporate into thin air like a ghost, with no rhyme or reason. I call this ghosting or being ghosted, and it can happen to any of us – no one is safe. As with many of the things that can go wrong when it comes to dating, being ghosted is another risk to add to the list. And although the idea of it happening to you may seem mortifying, the person that’s ghosted you may have done you a favor. Continue Reading
I wrote this blog a few years back at my sister site Spot86 that I wanted to share with you guys. Life is a beautiful thing. One thing is for sure, nothing is perfect and nothing is guaranteed. So many things can happen, so many things can change. With that being said, why do we make things difficult by having so many expectations? Are you still waiting for that guy that keeps playing games to change? Do you wonder why that one friend is never truly excited for you? Does frustration take over you the minute you think about how hard your new job or school has been? Are you hard on a family member because they are not living up to your expectations? If any of this is the case, you are in essence, setting yourself up for disappointment. The truth is; having too many expectations is not that great.
As if trying to meet someone that you’re attracted to, compatible with, and interested in isn’t hard enough…add a couple bad dates into the mix and you may want to throw the towel in on dating altogether. After a bad date, you start thinking to yourself “Maybe being single isn’t that bad after all” or “Why me?!” Trust me, I get it! I, myself am no stranger to the bad date. In fact, I can remember one quite vividly that sent me home in tears by the end of the night (I’m highly emotional, don’t judge me). Looking back on it now, I definitely would’ve handled that situation differently. But hey, you live and you learn right? If that horrible date never happened, I wouldn’t be able to share some of my knowledge with you!
So, there’s nothing I love more than to pour myself a glass of wine, indulge in my favorite sweets and tune in to watch Iyanla Vanzant come in and try to help people get their shit together. Her show “Iyanla Fix My Life” addresses some hard issues people are dealing with on a daily basis and the show just returned for a new season earlier this month. Maybe it’s due to the fact that I myself, love helping others and giving advice, or that I always end up with a lesson learned at the end of the hour-long show. Whatever it is, I’m hooked! My favorite episodes are the ones involving struggling dating lives or marriages (I mean, I think that’s kind of obvious lol). One of her more common questions she asks women that find themselves dealing with love and dating related issues is, “Did you fall in love with the person, promise, or the penis?” I swear that when I first heard Iyanla ask this question I nearly jumped out of my seat! I took this question and applied it to my own dating life. I had quite the revelation and learned a lot about myself. So now I have to ask you, which of the Three P’s is your vice?
I think we all know when it comes to being someone’s friend, there are some basic principles and duties we must perform. For starters, a friend is someone that is loyal, someone that you can confide in and entrust with all your dirty secrets. A friend is someone you can count on to listen to you when you complain or simply get things off your chest. They are there for you through the good, bad, and hella ugly. Of course the dynamics of all of friendships may differ a bit, but the overall consensus is – friends support each other. But what if you have a friend that’s always making bad decisions? You know – the one that always goes back to the guy she has no business with, the one that constantly blows her money partying but needs to borrow money to make rent, or maybe they are not as motivated about their life as they should be? Naturally, you want to help them out right? After all, that’s what friends do. But at what point does being a supportive friend turn into being their enabler? Do you ever feel the need to intervene and check them?