Love Games - Is There a Cheating Double Standard?
Cheating is an unfortunate risk that comes with being in a relationship. It's seen as the ultimate betrayal, a violation of trust. It can get ugly, especially when it’s played out in the public eye. Last year, it was Kevin Hart cheating on his pregnant wife, Eniko; and Jay-Z finally coming clean about cheating on Beyonce’. I think that it’s great these couples seemed to be committed to working on their marriages, especially through something like infidelity. Because let’s face it, being cheated on is not fun! Just speaking from experience, I’d be happy if I never feel that type of hurt again. Of course, what one couple goes through is not as easy as black and white. There are a ton of factors that may or may not go into a person’s decision to stay after the truth comes to light. When I saw these stories, I was instantly intrigued, I couldn’t help but wonder, if these roles were reversed would Kevin Hart or Jay-Z have stayed?
It’s pretty apparent that there’s a double standard that exists when it comes to cheating and forgiveness. To prove my point, I took a poll with my Instagram followers asking if they feel there is a cheating double standard. Over 80% of my followers voted yes! So ladies, why do we feel the need to stay? Isn’t one instance of infidelity enough? Would your man take you back if you cheated on him? Society has this idea that monogamy isn’t as natural for men as it is for women. In fact, it’s believed that women are generally more faithful and forgiving. It’s like we are pre-programmed to accept cheating as an ugly part that comes with being in a committed relationship. Personally, I call bullshit!
We live in a time where women can have just as much uncommitted sex as men, if not more. (Read my blog – “A Woman’s Right to Hoe”) That being said, it seems men have less tolerance for being played. According to society, fewer guys are willing to stay and work things out if they find out they’ve been cheated on. I guess it has a lot to do with the male ego. I found this to be quite interesting, so I asked some guys their opinion on the topic. Many said that men cheat more because women simply allow it. They explained that if we were to put our foot down, and stop giving so many second, third, and sometimes, fourth chances they wouldn’t cheat. On the flip-side, to my pleasant surprise, I also asked them would they forgive their lady if she cheated. Many said yes, but only once, because mistakes do happen.
It seems that we could learn a thing or two from our male counterparts ladies because I really think they are on to something. In fact, I think we stand to learn from one another. We all have different boundaries and things we simply won’t deal with, that has nothing to do with gender. I for one don’t agree with cheating at all. In my opinion, if you feel the need to cheat, you should just be single. However, I do believe that mistakes do happen. And if you and your partner are equally committed to addressing the issues in your relationship that caused the cheating in the first place, that’s your business! However, that’s not to be confused with simply lowering your standards and accepting be played for a fool cause you’re scared to be alone. You deserve better sis! Some people aren’t incapable of changing and doing right by others. But that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to deal with it because of what’s between your legs. You have to love yourself before you can love someone else. That comes with knowing when to walk away from a toxic situation. Remember, “Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, shame on me!” – George Horne.