Mo's Message


February 2018

Dear Monique, 

I need your help! There's this guy I've been involved with for the last two years. We're not a couple or anything, more like friends with benefits. Sometimes, we get along so great and I want him to be my boyfriend! While other times, we just don't see eye to eye. Whenever that happens, he's quick to post about other girls, even taking pictures with them and trying to flirt with my friends. It really hurts my feelings, but I like him... like A LOT. But I'm so tired of these games! 


Sincerely,  
A Friend with Benefits

Dear A Friend with Benefits, 

Hey girl. I'm just going to put this out there - YOU DESERVE BETTER!  No seriously, you do! I understand that you like him, but he clearly doesn't care. Because if he did, he wouldn't go out of his way to disrespect you. Friends?? That's a no-no. Yo've got to love and value yourself first. You're so much more than someone's personal toy. Guys can sense a woman's weakness and take advantage of it. It's pretty simple, they do what we allow. It's time to put your foot down. Stop giving someone the luxury of your time when they clearly don't deserve it! XOXO -Monique Elise

If you ever need advice, don't be a stranger! Feel free to contact me here!


January 2018

Dear Monique, 

So I’m trying my best to date but I’m struggling! I'm 31 years old, have a Master's Degree and I'm ready to meet my match. I joined a few dating websites (one that I paid for and one that is free) but I feel that they’re a waste of time. Men don’t reach out and if they do, they are nothing like my preferences (like 15 years older than I’m looking for). I don’t think I’m too picky, but I’m thinking it has something to do with how I look. I’m a natural plus-sized woman; I’m attractive, smart, and I know my worth. But sometimes I can’t help but think that I’m not aesthetically pleasing to men. This isn’t a pity letter but more so can you help a sistah out?  I don’t know if it’s just the way dating is nowadays or the area that I live in. I have no clue. I’d love some suggestions on where to just get out & meet people as well as some online dating tips.

Sincerely,  
Single Natural Sistah 

Hey SNS,

First of all, you are gorgeous! Live it, love it and most importantly own it. I know things can seem tough because now more than ever, we are living in such a superficial society. The more connected we become, the more disconnected relationships are. That being said, I think the most important place to start is with yourself. Go in knowing what you want and what your limits are. Then ask yourself, "What are my hard and soft limits?" (Hard limits: something that you absolutely will not compromise on,  Soft limits: you'd be willing to make an exception from time to time) Don't let a great love pass you by because he's simply not tall enough or something (just an example of a soft limit). Next, I'd take the pressure off yourself. Truth is - there is no cookie-cutter way or place to meet people. If there was, I honestly feel like meeting/dating would lose some of it's luster. The right person will come along when they are supposed to. So don't rush it, just enjoy and trust the process. Putting yourself out there is definitely a start!  If they don't catch it, well that's simply their loss! Shake things up, go out, have fun and try new things. You're in a pretty big city, I'd take advantage of it! Put yourself in a position to attract and meet new people.Try to attend more functions that encourage more intimate interactions, maybe a gathering at a friend's or popup shop?  And don't delete your dating websites just yet, but also don't put all your stock in them. Pull your resources, do you have any friends that know single guys? Ask them to set something up! I hope that you find these tips helpful. Keep being fabulous until the right one comes along! XOXO - Monique


If you ever need advice, don't be a stranger! Feel free to contact me here!