Personal Relationships

How to Heal From a Bad Breakup

One thing I think that almost every person walking this earth can agree on, is that breakups freaking suck! Even when they’re for the best and long overdue, it doesn’t feel great when you’re right in the midst of it. If you’re ready to get over the hurt and heal from your bad breakup, keep reading. 

Why You Need to Heal from a Bad Breakup

Not all breakups are created equally. In some situations, you’re able to move one with no hard feelings, closing that chapter for good. While in others, it can feel like it’s impossible to heal from the loss. In some cases, the harder the breakup, the harder it is to move on and come to terms with the way things went down. I get it, and being sad about it is totally understandable. After all, you were in love with this person at one point, right? But, the longer you prolong your healing and allow yourself to get over the break up, the longer you’re hurting yourself. 

Understand this, there’s a freedom that comes with allowing yourself to heal. Holding on to hurt can consume you and take over your life if you allow it to. Don’t be one of those people that let’s their hurt define them and who they are. 

How to Heal from a Bad Breakup

Chuck the Deuces

Cut all ties (if you can). Unless you have children together, there’s no need to be in contact with that person. I suggest just making a clean break, phone, email, socials… first block them and then delete them! If you have children and absolutely must communicate with that person, I’d keep it short, sweet and to the point. If it’s not about the children or your co-parenting agreement… nothing needs to be said. 


Forgiveness is key. First, you have to forgive yourself and then you need to forgive your ex. This is not for them, this is for you. When you forgive, you’re giving yourself a chance to grow and be happy again. 

Write it Out

Make a list. List out what you’ve lost since the relationship ended. Truly think about it and be real with yourself. A lot of the time, when you do this, you’ll realize that you didn’t lose anything at all… but a headache. Keep this list as a reminder for the days that you’re feeling nostalgic and are tempted to call them. 


All yourself to feel all of your emotions. Don’t bottle it up, don’t rush through it… FEEL everything. No you can dance it away, sex it away, or shop it away (Thanks Solange). If you run away from allowing yourself to feel your emotions, you’re going to prolong your suffering. It may not feel like it at first, because you’re hell-bent on distracting yourself from it. But trust me… They’ll catch up with you. 

Vent it Out

Talk to someone. Whether it’s your friends or family, I’m sure you’re not alone in this. If that’s not an option or if you want more professional help, see a therapist. If you read my post “Therapy is a Form of Self-Care“, then you know I love the idea of using a therapist to help with the healing process and sorting through life issues. 


Love yourself and continue to love others. I’ve said this many times before, don’t let heartbreak break you. You can and will get through this! So take a deep breath, be gentle with yourself and trust the process. 

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  • Reply
    October 7, 2019 at 5:39 pm

    🙌🏾 Girl, i needed this one. You hit the nail right on the head when you said you can’t shop away the pain, cause that’s my go to. I’m gonna try writing it out tho

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      October 8, 2019 at 11:28 am

      Haha! Yes! I’m speaking from experience… I’ve tried all of that!! Only for the hurt that I never thought was there to creep up and bite me in the ass years later! Try writing it out though, I think it will help you a lot! Thanks for stopping by!

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