I know that you guys have been waiting to get your hands on my new novel! I have GREAT news! “Dilemmas Of a Damsel: Part II” is now available on Amazon for PRE-ORDER! Just in case you missed it – check out the book trailer here! In addition to that, here’s another treat from me to you! As promised – a FREE SNEAK PEEK of “Dilemmas Of a Damsel: Part II”! Get to know Blair, Jayson, and the rest of the characters a little better.
I love my boyfriend so much! This was the thought that crossed my mind not so long ago. But it’s amazing how fast things can change. One minute you’re ecstatic, loving life. Then, all it takes is one instant to make it all come crashing down. In my case, only a few moments ago I was a woman in love, celebrating my thirtieth birthday with the ones I loved most. That all changed with seven simple words. “I’m the one carrying your child.”
That sentence plays over and over again in my head. Each time it does, I can feel a part of my heart shatter into pieces. My boyfriend cheated on me, and the other woman is having his baby. She’s having a baby with my man, my world. Guess the jokes on me right? How could he do this to me?
I can’t stand the sight of them. But the harsh new reality of my life leaves me feeling paralyzed. I try with all of my might to find my voice; I want to yell, and I want to confront them. I just want to make it all go away, but I’m stuck. As my subconscious continues to scream for me to do something, he suddenly pulls her in for a hug, and my chest tightens. My head spins, and nausea forces me to cower towards the bathroom covering my mouth. I quickly enter the bathroom stall and lean my head over the toilet, throwing up everything that’s inside of me, even my heart. The bathroom door opens once more, and I try to silence my sobbing.
“Blair, are you in here?” Jade calls out.
I silently curse myself.
I hear Kara say, “I swear that I saw her run in here!”
I hold my breath, hoping that they’ll give up and return to the party. But a few seconds later, I can see their heels in front of my stall. There’s a soft knock on the door, but I remain quiet, too embarrassed to face them.
“We can see your feet,” Jade announces.
I sigh and reluctantly reach up to open the door. Their eyes meet mine, and it’s as if they’ve seen a ghost. I’m a mess, curled up on the bathroom floor with tears streaming down my face.
“Oh my god!” Kara shouts.
Jade is by my side at once, “What happened?”
I can’t even get the words out. It feels like there is a huge rock in my throat.
All I can manage to say is, “Jayson, her, baby.”
They quickly put two and two together and promptly jump into damage control. I can barely keep my balance when they help me up off the ground. They carry me over to the mirror and work to put me back together; fixing my hair, wiping my face, and reapplying my lipstick. When they finish, they wait for my next move.
“What do you want to do?” Jade asks.
“Get me out of here,” I whimper.
Without hesitation, my friends guide me outside to the valet and retrieve Jade’s Audi. Once it arrives, they help me into the front seat. Jade quickly starts the car and blasts the AC to cool me off before turning back towards the building.
She orders, “Kara, stay with her. I’m going to go inside to get her things.”
Kara nods, “Got it.”
I sink into the cool leather seat as Kara joins me inside the car. In an attempt to briefly take my mind off of things, she reaches over and turns on some music. I look at her and just want to cry. I was so lucky to have her and Jade as friends, especially at this exact moment. I needed them more than they could ever know.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jayson come out of the venue and approach the car. I flinch at the mere sight of him. He takes one look at me, and I can see the dread overcome his face, he knows something is wrong. I don’t want to hear his voice, let alone see him.
He knocks on the curbside window, “Blair, what’s going on?”
I ignore him, crossing my arms and focusing on the car’s dashboard. He refuses to back down and walks over to the passenger side of the car and opens the door.
“Babe, what’s wrong?” he repeats.
Once again, hot tears stream down my face, “Don’t worry about me, worry about Renee and your unborn child!”
His face sinks. I can tell that he’s trying to think of what to say.
After a moment he turns his attention to Kara, “Do you mind giving us a minute?”
Kara all but ignores him and looks at me, “You good Blair?”
I softly pat her hand. She gives me a knowing smile and slightly bows her head.
“I’ll be right here ok?” Kara calls out.
I nod before I get out the car and face the man that jaded me. He can see the pain all over my face. My eyes are swollen and red from crying while Jayson’s looks strained and weary.
He begins, “Please let me explain.”
The sound of his voice instantly gets under my skin. I want to jump on him and let him feel the extent of my wrath.
I quickly wipe away my tears, “I don’t need you to explain shit! What are you going to say? Huh? How you ended up cheating on me or how you ended up getting her pregnant?”
I can see the valet attendants stop and glance over at us. The last thing I want to do is cause a scene, but I can’t help myself. The more he talked, the more I can feel my skin boiling over with rage. This type of betrayal is unforgivable.
He tries to pull me in for a hug, “I know that I messed up, but let me fix this.”
“You can’t fix this!” I quickly push him away, avoiding his advances. “I hate you!”
Before I know it, I’m breaking down. My sorrow takes complete control over my body and causes me to drop to my knees. Jayson reaches out trying to console me once more before I slap his hands away. Kara quickly jumps out of the car and helps me up.
“Blair please,” Jayson begs.
At that moment, Jade rejoins us and comes to my side. She cuts her eyes at Jayson refusing to acknowledge his existence.
She orders, “Let’s go y’all.”
And again, my girlfriends give me support and help me into the car, leaving Jayson, his deceit and all of his lies on the curb. I crawl into the backseat and take a sip of the water Jade brought me. I lie back and close my eyes, clinging to my clutch and birthday gifts. I can still hear Jayson outside of Jade’s car, but his pleading falls on deaf ears.
Jade says, “She doesn’t want to talk to you right now.”
“This is none of your damn business Jade,” he sneers.
She doesn’t back down, “If you say so. That bill wasn’t any of my business either, but I gladly gave the bartender your name and phone number. I’d take care of that if I were you.”
Without saying another word, she joins Kara and me in the car before pulling off.
The next day, I feel anxious, pondering my next move. I know that I can’t hide out at Jade’s forever. And now that she and Max have reconciled, I’m starting to feel like I’m getting in the way of things. I would’ve gladly stayed at Kara’s but her brother is visiting from out of town, and I didn’t want to be a burden there either. I’ve never felt so out of place in my life; I hated to impose on others.
I try to get comfortable on the couch. Then I notice my blue gift bag from Tiffany’s along with other gifts and cards that I completely forgot about. Lord knows these were the furthest things from my mind. Looking at them, I feel guilty for completely neglecting them. I stand to retrieve them from the glass shelf before plopping back down onto the couch. I reach inside the Tiffany’s bag, a gift from Jade, and pull out a small blue box, wrapped in a white bow. I slightly smile before opening it and gasp at the beautiful sterling silver bangle with personalized engraving.
The words read, “You are magical.”
Through my agony, I can’t help but smile. Suddenly, I feel compelled to express my appreciation for everything she’s done for me. I quickly pull out my phone and call her.
She answers on the third ring, “Blair? Is everything ok?”
“Yes, I’m fine. I just wanted to thank you for my gift, it’s perfect,” I say.
She sounds relieved, “Oh! I’m so glad you like it.”
“I do. I also wanted to thank you for you know, helping me out right now,” I continue.
“Of course girl, you know I’ll always have your back,” she replies.
I exhale, “That means so much to me. I know how you like having your space, I’ll try to be out of your way soon enough.”
“No rush! I’m going to stay over at Max’s house tonight, so the place is all yours,” she insists.
The fact that they were picking right back up where they left off cheered me up, if only for a moment.
I boast, “I’m so glad to see you two back together.”
I can hear her smile through the phone, “Me too!”
“Ok, I’ll talk to you later,” I say.
“Are you alright? Do you need me to bring anything? Do you want food or wine? I can stop at the store before I come home to change and grab a few things,” she offers.
“No thank you, I’m good.”
“K boo! See you soon,” she says before we hang up.
I put my phone down and stare at the floor. In an attempt to center my thoughts, I search for another piece of blank paper and a pen. Finding a blank notebook on Jade’s desk, I take a seat on the couch and begin writing.
You came in and had me open.
Why isn’t my love good enough?
I tried to be everything you ever wanted and desired.
But you keep breaking my heart, and I’m tired.
You say you’re sorry and will never do it again.
But here I am broken.
I stop writing and pick my phone up once more. I check all of my unanswered texts and voicemails; most of them are from Jayson. He still hasn’t stopped calling or texting me. I ignore them all; I just wasn’t ready to face it. Part of me, however, is relieved. It felt good to know that he still cared.
I look at all of the pictures and videos documenting our love and wonder if it all was a lie. My mind sifts through all the memories we share, trying to pinpoint where things went wrong. How the hell did I get here?
I sit there in silence for a few moments before I open our text thread and see over fifty unread text messages. As expected, Jayson is full of apologies, all out begging for my forgiveness, promising to make things right. I scroll through them, unsure of how to reply.
I sit in contemplation. Stuck in a dilemma of following my heart or listening to my head. Deep down I want to believe him; I want to believe that some of what we had was good. I put in way too much time, effort and tears into this relationship. I refuse to let some young chick come in and take all of the glory. This is my relationship, my life; I have to fight for it. I’m the one that Jayson is supposed to be with; I’m the one that should be having his babies. This isn’t right.
I weave my fingers through my hair and massage my scalp, trying to put my mind at ease. If I allow myself to admit it, I miss him more than I should. Confusion is an understatement. I go to my voicemail and see ten unopened messages. I open the most recent one, left this morning, and place my phone up to my ear.
“Blair, I know I fucked up. But I love you, and I know that we can work through this. Please don’t give up on us. I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back. I need you.” I hear Jayson say and can tell he’s fighting back tears.
I put my phone down and break down once more, crying myself to sleep. Before I know it, I’m awakened by the sound of keys in the door. Jade comes in, and she’s glowing. She gives me a hug before quickly hopping into the shower. After about twenty minutes and failing to go back to sleep, I pull myself up off the couch and walk into her bedroom. She’s changed into a form-fitting nude dress, swapping her conservative Jimmy Choo heels for sexy strappy sandals. I lay on her bed playing with Blu while she does her makeup.
After applying her blush, Jade turns to look at me, “You sure you don’t want to come with us to dinner?”
I quickly shake my head no, “Don’t be silly.”
“I just feel bad leaving you alone all day,” she admits.
“Girl please, just because my love life has gone to shit doesn’t mean yours has to suffer. I wanted you and Max to get back together forever; there’s no way I’m getting in the way of that,” I say.
She beams, “Yea; he told me at the party that you saw him and invited him! I definitely owe you.”
The party. Knots form in my throat, and I become quiet.
Jade takes notice and is instantly apologetic, “Shit, I’m so sorry Blair.”
I quietly nod and look down at the floor. She quickly joins me on the bed, taking a seat beside me.
“It will get easier you know.”
I look at her, “When?”
I was desperate to get over the pain I was feeling.
She places her arm on my shoulder, “One day. But until then, it’s perfectly fine to feel every emotion you’re feeling and get it out of your system. Just take it day by day. If you want to talk or just vent, you know I’m here and so is Kara.”
I softly smile, “Thank you.”
We hug and then she says, “Of course boo.”
Once she leaves, I lie back on her bed and stare at the ceiling. I feel restless and uncomfortable. I stand up and pace the room, unsure of what to do. I walk over to the window and take a peek outside. The sun was beginning to set, casting warm rays of soft pink and sorbet orange through the sky.
Suddenly, I’m grabbing my things and rushing outside to hail a taxi. Once I find one, I hop inside and tell the driver my destination. I relax a bit and sit back in my seat, watching the city and last days of summer pass me by. After a silent fifteen-minute ride, we pull up in front, and I hand the driver a fifty-dollar bill and tell him to keep the change.
I get out and quickly shut the door behind me. I slowly walk up the steps towards the one-bedroom condo and see that the lights are on. Once at the door, I softly knock and wait. After a moment or two, the door swings open and Jayson’s eyes light up. I look at the floor and walk inside as he closes and locks the door behind me.