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Lifestyle

The Art of Staying in Your Lane…

Hello 2018! I hope you all had a FABULOUS holiday and that you all are ready to kick this year in the butt! Being that most of us start the new year with new aspirations and goals in mind, I thought it was a good idea to revisit an old post of mine. (Originally posted at my sister site – Spot 86). I want to start by telling you guys that I am in no way, shape, or form perfect. There are days that I wake up stressed, discouraged, or anxious. I have a tendency to put huge amounts of pressure on myself. As I approached this new year, I couldn’t shake that feeling. Like what I was doing, or my goals weren’t good enough. We live in a society where we are constantly being bombarded with what other people are doing and how they’re living – the pressure is never-ending. It’s so easy to look at their success and feel that yours is lacking somewhere. Instead of beating myself up, I gave myself a tremendous pep talk. Because my own path is simply MY OWN. No one can take that away from me, I’m in control and I have the power. Knowing that gave me a sense of ease. I realize that many of us struggle with this, even though we know better.  If this is you, please stop it. Is it not understood that everyone has their own unique path and calling in life? So why is it that so many people fall victim to this “Keeping up with the Jones’” mentality?

 

I always say that social media is a gift and a curse. In an instant you can be connected with so many different people and build an audience for whatever you want to do. It’s a free marketing tool and a great way to keep in contact with friends while making some new ones. But, on the other hand, a lot of bullshit comes with it too. Now I won’t go through my list of all the things I think are wrong with social media, but the unnecessary pressure it puts on people to try to be something they’re not is definitely in the Top 3 of my least favorite things about it.

It’s so easy to see what other people have going on with their lives. Whether it’s taking an amazing vacation, having an elaborate wedding, running a successful business, partying until the sun comes up, or always having the latest fashions – it can be a bit overwhelming. After a while, you might feel yourself comparing the life you live, to what you see on Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat day in and day out. One thing you have to remember is everyone single one of us has our own struggles. And just because some people are broadcasting the fruits of their labor now, doesn’t mean it was easy to get there.

I feel compelled to repeat – WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN UNIQUE PATHS IN LIFE! Don’t let social media make you feel like you’re coming up short or that you have to rush your blessings. You have to stop worrying about and comparing your life to other people; they found what works for them, what makes them happy, and they are making moves in their own lane. All you need to be concerned with is finding yours and killing that shit! You can’t avoid the trials and tribulations that you may face when you’re chasing your dreams. That’s one of the things that makes each of our journeys unique. So cut yourself some slack and keep the faith.

Here are some things to remember when you feel that pressure getting to you:

1.     Focus on yourself

This is a tough one but it is vital! Focus on yourself and what you have going on. The more you are distracted by what everyone else is doing, the less you’re taking care of your business.

2.     Invest in yourself

Trends come and go. There is always going to be a new hot bag, there’s always going to be a new and hot car. If it’s not your time, that stuff can wait! Take that money and build up your business, go to school, buy stocks, or whatever you feel you need to do. But don’t waste your money buying into the hype of bullshit. Trust me it’s not going anywhere.

3.     Be true to yourself

Trust the process and open yourself up to new opportunities. Everything ain’t for everybody! Find things that truly make you happy and that bring you peace – eff everything else. 

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20 Comments

  • Reply
    Courtney
    January 11, 2018 at 3:58 pm

    Girl you have NO idea how on time this is! I am literally in the works of creating a blog post similar to this! I just texted my best friend 5 minutes ago “why do I feel like I’m not doing enough?” 😓 life is crazy, but we complicate it more by trying to compare and “keep up” with ppl that are quite possibly BEHIND us. Man, this hit so many chords. Great post, great post.
    Xo,
    Consuella

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      January 15, 2018 at 8:53 pm

      I can’t wait to read your post! We really need to give ourselves
      some credit!

  • Reply
    Takeara
    January 11, 2018 at 5:35 pm

    This is really great. I feel like social media has definitely contributed to people comparing themselves. My mom always said that we don’t know about people’s real life from a picture and that’s so true. We don’t know what people had to go through to get what they have. Like you said, my journey is my own! Great post!

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      January 15, 2018 at 8:52 pm

      Your mom is so right! Glad you liked it!

  • Reply
    Mercy
    January 12, 2018 at 9:11 am

    have always thought I was alone, on bad days scrolling through social media is one of the worst things you can do, you can feel like you are a failure comparing yourself to others, I guess we need to constantly remind ourselves that we are unique

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      January 15, 2018 at 8:52 pm

      Mercy trust me – you’re not!! Best you can do is stay true to yourself! That will never go out of style!

  • Reply
    Tanvi Rastogi
    January 12, 2018 at 2:32 pm

    I relate to your post so much as that’s exactly how I think and feel too … people need to focus on their own growth and improvements and not compare or compete with others.

    Social Media is definitely a gift and a curse at the same time.

    http://www.tanvii.com

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      January 15, 2018 at 8:51 pm

      100% agree! Glad you could relate!

  • Reply
    Beola Lawal
    January 13, 2018 at 4:57 am

    Awesome post, I agree 100%. Stay in your lane, live your life and always be yourself.

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      January 15, 2018 at 8:50 pm

      In that order! Thanks love!

  • Reply
    Shubhada Bhide
    January 13, 2018 at 9:37 am

    This is such a great post to read. Staying in your life is so important. Stop getting distracted by things that have nothing to do with our goals. Live life to the fullest!!

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      January 15, 2018 at 8:50 pm

      Yasssss girl! Thank you for stopping by!

  • Reply
    Elizabeth O
    January 13, 2018 at 12:17 pm

    What a great post. Staying in your life is such an important things to do. We need to stay focused, go after dreams and keep moving towards your goals. and live life to the fullest because it only happens once.

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      January 15, 2018 at 8:49 pm

      AMEN to that!

  • Reply
    Luci
    January 14, 2018 at 6:31 pm

    I totally agree with you. I grew up with the mantra, make your own path. Don’t follow the crowds because you might not know where they are going. Its okay not to fit in.

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      January 15, 2018 at 8:49 pm

      So glad you agree! Thanks for reading xoxo

  • Reply
    Melinda Gale
    January 18, 2018 at 2:10 pm

    Girl! You are speaking my language. I had a basic breakdown at the end of December because I was comparing my life/holiday to everyone elses. I gave up Instagram for the month of January and it was the best decision I could have made. I have been able to focus on myself, not worry about "likes", not worry about what everyone else is doing — staying in my lane!

  • Reply
    Ramona Spires
    January 21, 2018 at 9:05 pm

    I totally agree focus, invest, and be true to yourself. When you just focus on yourself and your own journey you will be better for it.

  • Reply
    Tiffany Yong
    February 10, 2018 at 3:16 pm

    Invest in myself is something I live by too! Being bombarded by living standards on social media got me really depressed and this made me grumpy and unhappy with my life. I start trying to be who I am not, and it becomes a vicious cycle,

  • Reply
    Nailil
    May 23, 2018 at 2:55 pm

    Social Media is truly a gift and a curse. What I hate about it the most is that people make quick assumptions. My accounts for instance are a place of happiness and positivity. That’s not to say that all aspect of my life are perfect. Yet, some can be offended by this and see this as fake or unauthentic.

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