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Relationships

It Was Fun While It Lasted???

HBO’s Insecure is easily one of my favorite shows. It’s raw, fun, REAL, and extremely entertaining! I’m so excited and ready for season 2! Just to hold me over, I’ve been watching old episodes from season 1 over the last few days. One of my favorite moments  was when Molly reconnected with this great guy Jared. The two were super cute together and Jared really seemed to be everything that Molly was looking for. Things were going great until he was a little too honest over dinner and revealed that he once had relations with a man. Molly was clearly shocked by his honesty and almost immediately turned off. Initially she opts to put her apprehension to the side, but finally concludes that she simply can’t look past it, no matter how great of a guy he was. A not quite similar situation happened with a friend of mine. She met a guy, and really liked him until one night he showed her what he was working with and she was just not impressed! So I got to thinking – isn’t it crazy how you can meet someone and really like them and then instantly be turned off?

I think we’ve all been put in this situation at one time or another. You can meet someone and be all about them. The conversations can be stimulating, the connection can be great and then all of a sudden, they do that one thing that turns you completely off. Maybe it was something they said, something they did, a smell or something super random. But at that moment the attraction instantly vanishes and you find yourself staring at them like “WTF am I doing here?!” Situations like this happen very often. So when this occurs, do you feel compelled to end things right then and there or do you insist on sticking it out because you don’t want to hurt their feelings?

“What we had was fun.” I explain. ……“Seriously Jade? What happened after three months? What changed?” He questions…….Then I finally say, “You said you loved me while we were having sex and then you cried.”

— Jade & Brandon, Characters from Dilemmas Of a Damsel

Much like Jade, the main character from my novel Dilemmas Of a Damsel, I simply cannot deal with someone I’m not attracted to. Kudos to those of you that can, but I’m a horrible liar! If I’m not attracted to you – trust me you will know. But unlike Jade, I hate hurting people’s feelings and often opt to break things off by playing the “Let’s be friends” card. I’m sure a lot of you use that line too.

I don’t think anything about breakups are easy. There are so many things that can go wrong. What if they completely flip out? What if they become a psycho stalker?  Honestly, you have to look past all that and stick to your guns. Don’t apologize for your feelings. It’s better to be upfront and end things when you know that they don’t have a shot in hell, versus leading them on. So what are some of your awkward breakup stories? How did you handle it?

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26 Comments

  • Reply
    Seema
    July 14, 2017 at 11:47 am

    Interesting write up….

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      July 14, 2017 at 11:57 am

      Thank you? Lol

  • Reply
    Saidy
    July 14, 2017 at 5:24 pm

    Um! Wow This was very intriguing and special to read ❤️❤️❤️ Keep it up hun.

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      July 15, 2017 at 5:04 pm

      Thank you!

  • Reply
    Daneen
    July 14, 2017 at 5:28 pm

    Been there, done that! I remember one time I met someone and after a couple of dates we were going to be intimate, and he walked out of his room in nothing but tidy whities and black socks. That’s it. White underwear, black dress socks. He was extremely hairy, like everywhere but his head, which was completely bald; he had a belly, which honestly didn’t bother me as much as the excessive body hair, but it was the black socks really did me in. I had no idea he had all that going on under his clothes and I just couldn’t go through with it. It was REALLY hard to extricate myself from that situation too. I mean, what do you say???

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      July 15, 2017 at 5:06 pm

      Yes! Ugh isn’t it so uncomfortable?! It’s like you don’t want to hurt their feelings but you also don’t want them to touch you! Lol. Glad you made it out!

  • Reply
    Jessica
    July 14, 2017 at 8:41 pm

    It turns me off when a guy is not ambitious…I want to travel the world and I want to be with someone who is not afraid of doing so. I don’t really think I’ve ever had an awkward breakup. When it is done is done. It is better to be direct in my opinion!

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      July 15, 2017 at 5:07 pm

      Key lesson : When it’s done it’s done! I couldn’t agree more.

  • Reply
    Angela
    July 18, 2017 at 5:41 am

    Ha! "Let’s be friends" was my go-to line when I was single. For me, I think it was a matter of me needing to know myself to better understand what I wanted from my partner. I am now happily married! I’ve intended to watch Insecure (season 1) for a while. Thanks for the reminder that I should do that!

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      July 19, 2017 at 12:28 pm

      It was mine too lol. And I agree – congrats on your marriage! Season 2 starts Sunday and Season 1 is On Demand!

  • Reply
    Lorena
    July 18, 2017 at 7:26 am

    Fun to read ☺

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      July 19, 2017 at 12:27 pm

      Thank you!

  • Reply
    Jovelyn Mateo
    July 18, 2017 at 10:59 am

    Made me want to watch the show as well. Haha. Good read!

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      July 19, 2017 at 12:27 pm

      You def should! Thanks for reading <3

  • Reply
    Zorica
    July 18, 2017 at 10:14 pm

    Great post! Thanks for sharing

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      July 19, 2017 at 12:27 pm

      Thank you!

  • Reply
    Cecil
    July 18, 2017 at 10:24 pm

    Never heard of the show, but will definitely watch an episode to see what it’s all about. Good luck with your book!

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      July 19, 2017 at 12:27 pm

      Season 1 is On Demand! And thank you so much!

  • Reply
    Mary
    July 18, 2017 at 11:23 pm

    Ahaa! This is funny, definitely going to check out the show. I thoroughly enjoyed reading through your post, isn t it funny how we sometimes want to be courteous while trying to get out of certain situations. Great post

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      July 19, 2017 at 12:26 pm

      Haha! Thank you and you def should! And yes I agree, especially for me, I hate hurting people’s feelings! It stresses me out lol

  • Reply
    Jem
    July 18, 2017 at 11:26 pm

    Great read, it’s funny how something small and seemingly insignificant can instantly change our impressions of someone. I remember I was seeing a guy a few years ago and one day he turned up in baggy white shorts and looked so ridiculous with his skinny pale legs poking out from underneath. That was the end of that. Seems shallow now but I couldn’t help it at the time!

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      July 19, 2017 at 12:26 pm

      OMG yes! I think we all have been in that situation at least once. Thanks for reading!

  • Reply
    Michelle
    July 19, 2017 at 1:45 am

    Great post. That sounds like a great show, I need to check it out

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      July 19, 2017 at 12:25 pm

      Thank you! It’s really funny. Season 2 starts this Sunday!

  • Reply
    kimberly
    July 19, 2017 at 1:25 pm

    I was reading something recently that talked about how the first couple of dates can go well but the littlest thing could set someone off. It was an interesting read for sure. Women have the hardest time with it because they are more considerate of others feelings and try to stick it out cause maybe things will change.
    But if it doesn’t work, let it be and go!

    Kimberly
    http://www.brunchandgloss.com

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      July 24, 2017 at 11:10 am

      OMG you are so right! But isn’t that a gift and a curse? I think it causes us to stay in situations longer than we should because we don’t like hurting other people’s feelings.

      Thanks for reading <3

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