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My Letter to a Black Girl…

I’m sure by now most of you heard of rapper Kodak Black openly expressing his disdain for black women on his Instagram a few days ago. After catching hell, he then proceeds to spell it out saying that he doesn’t like dark-skinned women (black bitches according to him) and prefers to date women that are light-skinned (aka “yellow hoes” – his words, not mine!). I think the general consensus amongst all black women (emphasis on ALL, light and dark) can be summed up as: NO ONE WANTS YOU! That being said, this young (and clearly ignorant) fella is not the first or last to express these types of thoughts. This light versus dark crap has been going on for far too long if you ask me. I think it’s safe to say that black women are one of the most criticized groups of people in society (just to be clear – I did not say the only group). The saddest thing is that people try so hard to pit us against one another. Let’s face it – it’s nothing new. Before I read about this story I already had plans on making this post. It’s funny how the stars aligned because apparently it is RIGHT ON TIME.

A few months back, I woke up one day and was tired and fed up. I was tired of the way society painted this negative picture of black women. I was tired of hearing the words ugly, ghetto, too dark and unworthy. So I took my pen to paper and wrote a letter to air out all of my frustrations. I realized that as a black woman I have been forced to face a hell of  a lot of adversity since I was just a young girl in middle school. At one point I was made to feel that I was ugly – ugly because I was too dark, too skinny, and basically because I was black. I hate to admit that I believed this for a moment in time. And if it wasn’t for my mother (who is my BIGGEST supporter) I don’t know where I would be today. If it was not for her and the constant encouragement and love that she showed me when I needed it the most, I would’ve never took the time to LOVE myself and embrace all that I am. Yes, I’m dark, I’m a woman, and I have some sass – and you know what, I FUCKING LOVE IT. So here is a letter dedicated to anyone that was ever made to feel like they were not enough. Trust me honey… you are!


My Letter to a Black Girl – 

I wish you could see how amazing you are. I know it feels like the world is against you. Day in and day out you face constant judgment and ridicule from all sides, even others that look just like you.

I pity them because they don’t understand you, and people fear what they do not understand. Your beauty makes them uncomfortable. So they bash you for the very things that make you special. Your dark skin. Your full lips. Your kinky hair. Your wide nose. Your sassiness. Your fearlessness. Your resilience. Rather than praise those things, the world would rather shed a negative light on them.

What did you do to deserve this? Nothing!  Trust me, I understand your frustration. The taunting and the labels can be overwhelming. Especially when it feels like it comes from all sides. Every day you are determined to prove them wrong. It feels like you are stuck fighting a losing battle and no one has your back. But I got you.

If you have an opinion about something you are labeled “The Angry Black Girl.” If you are driven, you are “too ambitious.” If you have a little sass you are labeled as “ghetto.” If you don’t fit society’s mold of what is “beautiful” you are ugly. But let me tell you, your voice is what makes you unique, don’t ever be afraid to speak up. Your drive is what makes you unstoppable. Your sass gives you flavor. And screw society’s flawed standards of beauty. You are a queen and never forget it.

I am here to tell you, I see you. I see your power, I see your greatness. I know it feels like no one fights for us. But I will. Never forget, you have the luxury of being a part of an exclusive network of women that have faced and overcame your same struggles. We are like a beautiful rainbow ranging in different shapes, sizes, colors, and personalities. We are different yet we are one in the same.  They don’t call it #BlackGirlMagic for nothing. We have your back.

I beg you; please don’t let them steal your light. Because trust me they will try. Instead, recognize your power. You are not ugly, you are not angry, you are not ratchet. My darling, you are so much more.

Own your #BlackGirlMagic. Embrace that #Melanin. God knew what he or she was doing when they made us.  Be bold. Be confident. Be kind. Be strong.

Love yourself, reach for the stars and spread love along the way. And from one black girl to another,

I love you.

You are special.

You are beautiful.

You are magic.

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  • Reply
    Michelle
    June 29, 2017 at 2:15 pm

    Very well said, thank you for this!

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      June 29, 2017 at 8:10 pm

      It had to be said! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!

  • Reply
    Jas
    June 29, 2017 at 2:38 pm

    This is great! I am so glad you’re using you’re platform to educate, encourage, and enlighten! Thank you for that letter. It is necessary.

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      June 29, 2017 at 8:09 pm

      I’m glad you enjoyed it love<3 feel free to share it with who ever you think needs it!

  • Reply
    Sierra Lewis
    June 29, 2017 at 4:17 pm

    ❤️❤️

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      June 29, 2017 at 8:08 pm

      Thanks for reading <3

  • Reply
    Troy Blake
    June 30, 2017 at 12:36 am

    Your website looks awesome Monique. Keep up the good work. Congrats!

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      June 30, 2017 at 12:42 pm

      Aww thank you Troy! <3

  • Reply
    Sheila Gordon
    June 30, 2017 at 7:03 pm

    Speak my Sister! We are all one, we are empowered to "lift up one another" and to attack the negative bull—- that these immature, insensitive haters uphold!!! It’s about loving and embracing who you are so that we can spread & share the LOVE.

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      July 1, 2017 at 4:29 pm

      My thoughts exactly!

  • Reply
    Candice
    July 1, 2017 at 2:14 pm

    Monique! This is amazing. Thank you for your encouragement and your boldness. This is timeless.

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      July 1, 2017 at 4:29 pm

      Thank you so much Candice! I’m so glad you enjoyed it <3

  • Reply
    Trav
    July 27, 2017 at 2:01 pm

    I really appreciate this post. Although you were speaking to black women, me as a dark skinned black man grew up the same way, and went through the same issues. It took a while for me to learn how to embrace who I am and what I look like. But I love every bit of me. Great post Mo…

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      July 27, 2017 at 5:52 pm

      Aww thanks Trav! I’m glad you enjoyed it! I hate the whole light-skinned/dark-skinned crap. We are all beautiful and there is nothing wrong with embracing it <3

  • Reply
    Keiana
    July 30, 2017 at 10:21 pm

    Very refreshing to hear. Geez, thank you!

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      July 31, 2017 at 5:11 pm

      I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!

  • Reply
    Tiff Samara
    August 7, 2017 at 2:15 am

    Queenimony

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      August 8, 2017 at 6:05 pm

      <3 <3

  • Reply
    Ciara
    August 21, 2017 at 2:43 pm

    Loooove this

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      August 22, 2017 at 11:17 pm

      Thanks love!

  • Reply
    Patrice Amöre
    August 17, 2018 at 12:57 pm

    awesome post! I would like for you to guest blog on my website please. For more information check out my wordpress blog!

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