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The Girlfriend Code…

A few weeks ago, I posed a question on my Facebook about women that say they don’t get along with other women. Then like fate, my sister from another mister (in my mind at least) Issa Rae tweeted something along the lines of – “I feel sorry or women who don’t have female friends.” Quite honestly, I couldn’t agree more. There’s something about having a connection with other women that can’t be replaced by relationships with men. And if you ask me – in this cold ass world, a woman needs her girlfriend(s)!

 

In an attempt to address this topic in an unbiased way, I researched stories from women that justified keeping other women at an arm’s length. Most, if not all, of the justification and/or reasons given can be boiled down to having bad past experiences with females. And trust me I get it! Us ladies can be complex! There are times when we can be mean and downright catty! (Check out my previous blog discussing that here.) But that being said, there is still an undeniable sisterhood that women have no matter what our differences are. That bond is like no other. Men will never understand what it takes to be a woman. No matter how much we try to educate them and provide insight into what it’s like to walk a mile in our shoes – and visa versa. And in today’s society with so much controversy surrounding sexual abuse, feminism, the constant pressures we face to be women – we need one another. I don’t care how many guy friends you have – there is something that simply can’t replace good ole’ girl’s talk, a night out with the girls, or just a unspoken understanding of one another.

 

No one is perfect and you can have just as many bad experiences with your male counterparts as you do with other females. People are going to be people. Their ill intentions are not dictated by their sex. Further, what happened in your past (bullying, betrayal, etc.) is a part of your story but it shouldn’t control how you live your life today. We all go through shit. I’m sure there are plenty of other women that don’t like me, and that’s ok. But as a woman – if they needed me I’d be there for them. Harboring resentment gets no one no where, and you are only hurting yourself in the end.

In closing, I encourage you ladies (on both sides) to play nice! The challenges we face on a daily basis is enough as it is. Society is relentless in pinning women against one another and this topic plays right into it! Try to be a little nice, understanding, patient and empathetic towards other women. You never know the reason behind their actions or perspective! So – what do you think about women that go against the girlfriend code?

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  • Reply
    Astin
    November 2, 2017 at 1:11 pm

    BOMB. This post was the BOMB.

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      November 8, 2017 at 4:31 pm

      Hey Astin! Yassss so glad you enjoyed my post! xoxo

  • Reply
    Ciara
    November 2, 2017 at 2:13 pm

    My exact thoughts!!!! I was so happy when Issa said that. I don’t inderstand how women are so comfortable with not having a set of good girls friends. Good energy is inviting.
    Great post.

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      November 8, 2017 at 4:32 pm

      Yes girl me too! I’m really trying to understand why some women feel that way. Thanks for reading!

  • Reply
    Alicia
    November 2, 2017 at 2:54 pm

    Well said! Even if you keep your girlfriend circle small, it’s still very important to have one. The connection you have with your girlfriends is something you will never find with men. We just get it!

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      November 8, 2017 at 4:33 pm

      Hey Leesh! I couldn’t have save it better myself! <3

  • Reply
    Holly
    November 7, 2017 at 12:24 pm

    I love this post! So true—women need to lift other women up.

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      November 8, 2017 at 4:33 pm

      Amen Holly, AMEN! Thanks for stopping by!

  • Reply
    Kristi McAllister
    November 7, 2017 at 7:50 pm

    Ohhhh this one is touchy for me, but only because my very best friend of 24 years broke "girl code" with a guy I was interested in a couple of months ago. She knew we were talking and that I was interested in him and didn’t care a thing about it until she found out he was debt free, had a nice house with a pool, and made really, really good money. And what did she do? Pursued him behind my back and spent the night at his house and didn’t tell me until 5 days later. I’m no longer speaking to either of them. I am in total agreement that as women, we need to encourage each other and never cross personal boundaries. Thanks for sharing!

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      November 8, 2017 at 4:35 pm

      Hi Kristi! I’m so sorry that happened to you!! And I agree with your stance 1000%. You never know they both may have some seriously deep issues they haven’t yet dealt with. I always say – HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE!

  • Reply
    Rebecca
    November 8, 2017 at 12:50 am

    I have always had a hard time connecting with women. It has taken me decades to find women who appreciate who I am. I don’t like drama. I don’t like messy. And I have better things to do than to sit around and talk about other people. These are just a few things that have kept me from connecting to other women. Yes, there are men who are drama-kings, but not as many as there are women. Or at least that has been my experience. I love the sista hood, but we can be tough to get along with.

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      November 8, 2017 at 4:38 pm

      Hi Rebecca, thanks for stopping by. I’m sorry that you associate the words drama and messy with women… I believe we are so much more! I have also come to realize that nowadays men gossip just as much as women. Just a little different perspective here :-). I agree, as women we have room to grow and improve. But who doesn’t? Sisterhood is a beautiful thing especially when it’s genuine. Don’t give up hope just yet.

  • Reply
    Marie
    November 8, 2017 at 2:36 am

    Definitely agree w you! There is no one else who can understand what you go through as a woman aside from other women!

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      November 8, 2017 at 4:38 pm

      W O R D !!

  • Reply
    Finlay grace
    November 8, 2017 at 7:27 am

    Totally agree will with you! We should be building our sister up not ripping them down!

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      November 8, 2017 at 4:39 pm

      Yup! Say it again for those in the back! Lol, thanks for reading!

  • Reply
    Dee Jackson
    November 9, 2017 at 12:56 am

    I agree with you that we do need female friends in our corner to help build us up.
    https://mydeedeesdiary.com/

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      November 10, 2017 at 1:20 pm

      Thanks for reading!

  • Reply
    Jem Lou
    November 11, 2017 at 11:16 pm

    Hi! I thought your post was very interesting, though it does appear more to address those who have purposefully distanced themselves from girl friends due to different issues, it was thought provoking. I hope that as women, we might also be mindful of the girl who struggles to fit in with different groups and, instead of ‘closing ranks’ to newcomers, try to help them feel more at ease, especially if you’re part of an established group, as it’s so hard to try to find common ground with a lot of new people at once. Thanks for posting! X

    • Reply
      Monique Elise
      November 13, 2017 at 3:55 pm

      Hi Jem, that is such a great point!! I think at little empathy can go a long way. Thanks for reading!

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